The Dogs

Say hello to my puppies.
If it wasn't for these two constantly moulting, mud seeking, horse poo eating, insomniac, vacuum cleaner ruining, cute, delightful, friendly, loveable rogues; I would never have started walking miles every day, discovering nature, foraging, peace and tranquility, or thermal clothing. The sheer joy that they bring to me each and every day is something that I will always treasure.

After leaving the local shop with a carton of milk me and the dogs headed for the field for a little exercise. We reached a comfy little spot and I sat down whilst the dogs went off to do their thing, whatever that may be. Seeing me sat on the grass and not following, Sprout decided to come and lay down at my side. Dog, as usual was halfway down the next field chasing birds and leaping about in the tall grass before he realised that we weren't following. So back he came to where we were sat.
The first thing he did when he arrived was to grab the milk carton and run off with it, throwing it around in the air, stamping it into the ground and sinking his teeth into it.
WHY? I thought. What on earth goes through that head of his?
So I decided to interview the pair of them

DOG 61/2 year old male Border Collie with a mind of his own Loves human contact, chases anything that moves, even things blowing along in the wind. Occasionally does completely unexpected things that leave you questioning his mental capacity. Despite his faults he is a big softy and loves a cuddle.	SPROUT 6 year old female Border Collie very quiet, independent, keeps herself to herself unless she becomes bored. When this happens, it's usually Dog that bears the brunt as she leaps on his back and starts a play fight. If he does not respond immediately she will bark non stop until he gets off his backside and plays with her

ME: So why did you run off with the milk you Muppet

DOG: I didn't know it was milk. We didn't bring the stick with us and I thought you had found a plastic bottle for me to play with.

ME: Yes you did know. You just saw me buy it at the shop.

DOG: Yeah but that was like 10 minutes ago. I didn't know it was the same one. I live in the moment you know. Could have been any old plastic bottle that could.

SPROUT: Stupid

ME: Why do you eat grass?

DOG: I like it.

ME: So why do you throw it up all over the kitchen floor?

DOG:

SPROUT: Stuuuuupid

ME: Sprout, don't you think you are being a little unfair to him?

SPROUT: You reckon? Look, when you come downstairs on a morning, you make a coffee and go sit in the lounge. What do I do?

ME: You follow me into the lounge sit down and wait for a stroke.

SPROUT: And what does he do?

ME: Generally has a stretch, dashes into the lounge, rolls around all over the place on his back scratching until he knocks the plant pot over.

SPROUT: And then?

ME: He comes over, stands in front of me and knocks everything off the coffee table with his frantic tail wagging

SPROUT: I rest my case

DOG: Are you trying to tell me that you are more intelligent than he is?

SPROUT: Yes

DOG:

ME: He could have a point Sprout

SPROUT: Why?

ME: Well, when I throw a stick, how come you never make any attempt to get the stick. You always go for Dog's neck and end up spitting fur out of your mouth for the next ten minutes.

DOG: Yeah and it hurts. Stupid

SPROUT: I'm just getting my own back. Every time I'm in season he grabs me by the head and drags me round the house. That hurts as well

DOG: Well you could just give in and we could have a family

SPROUT: Huh, you got more chance of platting fog. I don't want a family until you stop running around like a lunatic. You would trample all over the pups you clumsy sod. Besides which you don't love me, you just want to scratch an itch. If it's not me it's the rope.


If it's not the rope it's my bed. That's not love.

ME: Whoa hang on a bit Sprout. Not long after you came into this family you spent 2 weeks in the vets in intensive care. When you came home who was it used to lay by your side 24 hours a day and fetch you toys to play with. Who was it that wouldn't go for walks because you couldn't come along. Who was it used to pick you up and pop you on my lap. Who was it used to lick your head clean when you weren't strong enough to do it.

SPROUT: Dog

DOG: HA!! yeeeah, see.

SPROUT: Yeah OK thanks but you're still too rough.

ME: Sprout. Why do you stand in the middle of the room looking at the ceiling as if you are watching a fly or something. It freaks me out.

SPROUT: You don't see it?

ME: See what?

SPROUT: That

ME: What?

SPROUT: Forget it. It's a dog thing

ME: You yap quite a lot when you are asleep. Do you have dreams or nightmares?

SPROUT: I once dreamed that I was chasing my food bowl around the house and I couldn't catch it. It finally got stuck in the corner and as I got to it, a spider crawled out from underneath it and ran under the chair. When I turned around my food had disappeared.

ME: Ha ha, that's mad.
SPROUT: Yeah. I know

ME: How come you both like jumping around in lakes, streams and muddy puddles but refuse to have a bath or be hosed down.

DOG & SPROUT:

ME: Why is that I bought you both a new bed and you will sleep anywhere but on the beds.

DOG: We do sleep on them. They are great. Thank you.

ME: Right, well I'm away to have a bath. See you later.

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In Memory of 'E'

I rescued a 9 week old collie pup. I say rescued because the owner had given the remainder of the pups away and could not get rid of the last one. I heard about it from a friend and went around to take the pup off their hands rather than it end up in a sack, or a river or whatever.
I already had 'DOG' my oldest border collie and so when I went to collect the pup I took him along with me.
In hindsight his reaction to the pup was strange. Usually he will play very gently with a puppy but on this occasion, after the usual introductory sniff he simply lay down beside the pup and sort of cuddled it.
I took the pup home and the next day the vet administered the vaccinations.

After 10 days the pup died. The vets report said cause unknown. I buried her at the bottom of the garden. Whilst she was with us she brought pleasure and company to both myself and to Dog. From what I saw of her she would have been just as mischievous as Dog is.

This was 'E'

Spirits of the corners I give you 'E'
Keep her safe and her spirit free